Forgive and forget: who among us has not attempted to violently overthrow a democratically elected government?

Interesting Times Harold Editorial Page Exclusive

I would like to get something off my chest, and not just the bruise from the FBI agent who crashed through my door last night and threw me into jail for exercising my First Amendment right to kick in a window at the Capitol Building. I understand that, from a certain point of view, the Save America Rally last week may have appeared to have gotten out of hand, what with the death and destruction and the defilement of the cradle of American democracy. But to that I say, who among you is ready to cast the first stone?

NOT SO FAST!

It’s easy for you to point out the speck of violent insurrection in my eye, but are you ready to remove the beam of driving 10mph over the speed limit from your eye? I’ve got you, haven’t I? You see, we’re not so different, you and I. We each are imperfect citizens of this Republic. You round up your deductions when calculating your taxes, and I stole property from a US Congressman and sold it to a guy with a Russian accent. Who is to say that my transgression is worse than yours?

STOP THAT.

I need a little slack here. I’m not used to the modern way of casting aside everything that makes America truly great. In my day we wore a mask to protect ourselves, not others, and we didn’t go around posting pictures in real time of our crimes. Oh sure, maybe a Selfie in a prison in Iraq, but we sure didn’t live stream it.

In retrospect, the live streaming was really dumb.

Look, all I’m saying is that most of us, at one time or another, have probably tried to violently overthrow something, right? Whether it was, say, a game of Risk that had gone on WAY too long, or the duly elected government of the people, we were wrong. So let’s just agree that we all need to come together at this time and…

What do you mean “my words may be used against me in a court of law?”

- Harold Newsbaum, Editor-in-Chief

Originally published at https://www.damperthree.com on January 13, 2021.